Study Study Study

So it is that time of year again. Finals. Woo Hoo. Everyone rediscovers the library and the lack of space to study around the law school. Every year we get this evil email about how we should stay off the MBA side of the building even though their space is arguably better study space than ours. The administration always reminds students that they could study in the library. But the library sucks as a study place, and here are the reasons why:

• It is loud. Quiet doesn't apply to the library. Why? People. There are tons of people. So people talk. This by itself wouldn't be bad but there is this rotunda that only an idiot would put in a library that makes everything said in it on the 2nd floor echo up to the 3rd floor. For some reason, people don't catch on to this and they just keep standing there yapping away.
• There are few group study spots. So if you want to study with people you are out of luck.
• It is only open until midnight. When they kick you out mid-practice exam, no one is happy. Midnight? I mean really, in undergrad it was atleast 2 during finals. Burning the midnight oil is a bit difficult when the library shuts down at 12.
• It is artic in there. There is nothing worse than trying to type a paper when you can't feel your fingers. And shivering is seriously distracting when you are trying to study.
• It is so hot, you think you might be in the tropics. And you wish you were. I know you are thinking, "Artic and Tropical? Obviously, that doesn't work." Oh but it does. Because it is one extreme or the other. You either need a parka or a bikini. Normal rules of temperature control do not apply in the library...or in the rest of the law school for that matter.

And those little study rooms on the MBA side they forbid us to use have little heaters you can turn on and off as you see fit. That is just wishful thinking on the law school side. All these things will just give you another excuse to avoid studying in the library for finals. Like I am doing now.

Girls, Is this why we're in law school?

I've observed that one of the female halves of a law school couple (more on that in a later post, I promise) serves as a maid/secretary for her boyfriend. She leaves him notes with homework assignments on them, drops off and sets up his computer, etc.

The kicker was she cleans up after his lunch. He leaves the open containers, empty bags on his desk and she comes behind him and picks them up! Not that I enjoy the trash that he leaves all over his desk (our little area smelled like ranch for a few days after he left something out), but did she really come to law school to clean up after some man?

Is this the law school version of the MRS degree?

Dear 1Ls, Back to the Dungeon with you!

Get off the third floor!
It does not belong to you, you haven’t earned it. We Upper Ls have, we put our time in the dungeon, with no natural light, with the horrid buzzing of florescent lights going bad echoing through our poor little brains. And then we reach the peace of the third floor, with its convenience to the CLRC and Ed.
And now, our haven away from you crazy 1Ls has been invaded. It seems that some of you are confused. You don’t understand that you have been sent to the dungeon for your own protection. So you don’t drive us into killing at least one of you off to make an example to the herd.
Case in point, a particularly brave (or stupid, depending on your point of view) 1L has made his way onto our floor. He has taken over a couch and keeps himself company there with his friend, i-pod. He listens to i-pod so loud I can hear the music from my carrel, 10 feet away. The Dog (Walker, but he’s for a whole other post all by himself) warned that you would be deaf by the time you were forty if you keep this up. You may not have to worry about that, as you may never reach forty when an aggravated 3L does the rest of the floor a favor by choking the life out of you with the very cords that bring that loud music to your ears.
Please, go make use of your assigned carrel. It’s for the good of everyone involved, including you.

Love,
An aggravated 3L

Hallways Smallways

To everyone it becomes apparent on the first day of classes that the hallways in the Worrell Professional Center are just too freaking small. Apparently (as in someone told me this, who knows if it is actually true) when they were designing the building they decided to save some money by making the hallways smaller with the justification that people could walk outside to get to their next class. This makes alot of sense now when the weather is beautiful but what about the winter? It does get alittle cold sometimes here in NC.

Now, the halls are still jammed up because people don't want to walk outside because it is too hot. It is also jammed because of people who arrive to class 15 minutes early and stand outside the door of the class that is finishing up 10 minutes before their class begins. Attention 1Ls, your class is not going anywhere and the class before it is not going to finish early to allow you to rush in.

Also, people think that the hallways are a great place to stop and chat. Now two people can fit pretty well talking in the hall and others can still pass but when you add in two overstuff backpacks it gets more crowded. And don't even get me started on those people who insist on the rollerbags and leave those behind them when they talk in the hall adding effectively a whole new person to the cramped area. Try to realize some people are trying to get passed you and after a few excuse mes pushing you out of the way becomes permissible.

So my advice to everyone, don't congregate in the halls and jam it all up. It will only cause hallway rage (a fate far worse than road rage). The best suggestion I have for you is to show up for class a mere 5 minutes early if you are really big on getting there early or for the more daring show up on time or late, you will find that the smallways seem alot bigger at that time.

What Not To Wear

This Friday, I had the opportunity to observe some of the 1Ls come in for their Face Book head shots and their schedules. It's always fun to check out the new crop of FLA (Future Lawyers of America...and Beyond) and this year is no different.
Overall, this group seems pretty laid back so far. There were several boys that did the shorts paired with the top half of their suit. I'm waiting for the boy that pairs a crazy shirt with the bottom half of his suit. Then, there's the boy that came to school in full uniform, basketball uniform that is. I'm wondering if he wore that for his picture. That would be pretty funny to see. I guess, we'll find out in a month or so.
The uniform can be topped and it was, by the 1L wearing the gun holster. Now that's not something you see everyday. It was empty, but still. The pocket protector has been upgraded.
I give this group a thumbs up so far. We'll see if they lead to emails from the admin about fights over study rooms. Oh, and their laptops are half the size of ours and actually have internal wireless, so jealous (sigh!). It seems that these were selected by us upper level Ls, what were we thinking, we should have saddled them with ones that were at least as big as ours.
We also have new art in the hallways. I liked the animal pictures from last year better. The main hallway has an abstract theme, which while bad, still beats the creepy stalker art from two years ago.

New Languages

Everyone knows that your first year of law school, and throughout law school, a law student learns all kinds of new words, the legal profession truly has its own language. Some of it is English but you never would have thought to use them in normal conversation--like merchantability or specificity. Others are the classic Latin phrases they say on all the legal dramas on TV--like mala prohibita, others don't show up on TV but are funny anyway, like res ipsa loquiter.

But coming into Wake Forest there is another language that it is vital that you learn--Southern speak. For those of you lucky enough to be born into speaking this language, you are set. Now, you will find that Southern Speak generally is kept out of the classroom. But if you want to be able to speak to any locals, you are going to have to learn some of it. And be sure that for atleast the first few months in the South you will be asking people to repeat themselves because you won't understand them...but don't worry too much because they won't understand you either. Here are the basics that you will need to make it through your first weeks in the South.

• Ya'll = all of you or you guys (if you are from a place where they say that)
• All Ya'll is plural, All Ya'll's or Ya'll's is possessive
• "I'm fixin' to..." = I am going to or I was about to, this in no way should be taken to mean that something is actually going to be fixed
• Big Ol'...= large (This will creep into your vocab without you realizing it, use caution with this phrase, if you want to avoid going home and being told you have acquired an accent while you were away.)
• "Bless your heart, ..." = someone is going to be very polite in insulting you with whatever they say next, but it is so politely put that you will hardly notice the insult
• Yonder = some measure of distance, never specified. Over yonder implies a farther distance

While the list could go on and on, this is a good start. Especially that fixin' to one. I had no idea what people were talking about when I first got to the South. There many other phrases you will pick up along the way but I would hate to ruin all the fun of figuring out what people are saying to you. Oh, and don't assume that only uneducated people will use these phrases...you would be surprised by how often they are said by lawyers, judges, and professors.

Summer Stories

Perhaps you've heard about the antics that some summer associates get up to over the summer- here's one notorious story:

I'm sure by now you have all heard the summer-associate most embarrasing-moments stories from past summer classes at your respective firms. See if you can beat this: the other night hundreds of new york summers, including myself, were ata very snooty charity benefit at Pier 60 in Chelsea Piers, put on by a bunch of law firms. Drinks were served in abundance, and it was only a matter of time before some summer associate with a low tolerance made an egregious social faux pas in front of the partners of their firm. What actually took place was better than any of us could have hoped for. In a drunken stupour, a girl from Cleary Gottlieb suggested to those standing around her that they all go for a swim (keep in mind that this was at a restaurant with a deck sitting over the Hudson River, and that once off the deck it was 500 feet back to shore in pretty rough swells of very polluted water). Everyone around looked at her as if she was joking, or crazy. Despite the fact that nobody was willing to join her, she took off her shoes and dress and jumped half-naked into the River, causing, as you can imagine, widespread panic amongst everyone at the party. The coast guard was called in immediately and apparently she was arrested. One can only wonder if that is the sort of behavior that might prevent one from getting an offer at the end of the summer.

Another emailer adds:

...the girl is indeed a summer at Cleary. She goes to UVA law, and her name is Clara Vonderich. Google her for images and you'll find 2. Below I've pasted an account sent to me by a buddy, who is summering at Davis Polk, who was there that night:

I did indeed see this live and in color. The girl apparently handed her clothes to someone (I actually missed the strip) and jumped in. I saw her as she entered the water, and she didn't appear to be worried at all, she was doing the backstroke, sidestroke, all strokes. The guy who was holding her clothes was much older, looked about the age of a partner, for what its worth. The funniest part is the actions of the staff at the party. About 4 of them began throwing life buoys to the girl saying "cmon honey, take the donut". She obviously refused, as she was thoroughly enjoying her swim. She then made a swimming dash for the inlet harbor, which was a ways away...man could this girl kick, she was auditioning for the 2012 Olympics in NYC with her strong crawl. But she tired, so she just hung out for a while longer while the staff played a game of who could get their life buoy closer to her. I went inside to relay the news, when I came back out, a police boat was there with a huge spotlight. That was the last I saw of the girl...conscious...I later saw a figure on a stretcher being put into an ambulance, I assume it was her. I have no idea where the girl was from, but she was the highlight of the night at the Sanctuary for the Families.

So, like what classes should I take?

Finally, the class schedule is released and we get to register for classes in a week. Registering for law school classes is an interesting balance of determining which profs to take, which time slots look good, will I have a final, and what do I need for the bar.
Profs: This comes down to personal preferences, although Chesney seems to be a top choice among most students and he has a new offering this year in "National Security Law". It's rumored that this class will fill up very quickly(as in sorry 2Ls, you'll have to wait until next year to get into this one). Some people have personal favorites, like a certain 3L who is insisting on taking every course taught by Walker a.ka. Mad Dog. I loved Castleman, Reynolds (see below), Green (although he'll be visiting out this fall, he's very animated-don't sit in the front row-and very knowledgeable-he's working the latest Rest. of Torts), Collins(very nice, very fair, and super smart). There are also those profs that some of us tend to avoid for personal reasons, like they kicked our ass first year or they require expensive, badly edited textbooks that we would rather not have to purchase and lug around.
Time Slots: Again, personal preference-are you a morning person or an afternoon person, do you like having loads of Friday classes(silent no with head shaking), do you enjoy two hour lunches
Finals: It seems to be the goal of many 3Ls to have as few finals as possible, especially Spring Semester. This means classes like Clinic, Law Practice Management, and paper courses. This may also entail front-loading the year with the harder, non-paper courses in the Fall.
What do I need for the Bar: Family Law, Tax, Law and Economics, Sales, Dead People-these are all things that I'm hearing out of former 3Ls now in Bar Review Courses. Personal recommendations-if you can manage it Reynolds for Family Law(I mean, she wrote the book on Family Law in NC and has been interviewed by major networks for her expertise, plus she's the sweetest thing ever) and Castleman for Dead People(He's plain-spoken, will not kill you with RAP, and tells entertaining jokes and stories during class)